Thursday, February 14, 2013

Struggling on Valentine's Day?


Q. I have been married for several years now. It seems Valentine's Day has lost its importance to me. What could we do to spice up the romantic side of our relationship?

A. Great question! I have a wonderful answer for you, too! As a counselor who has the wonderful opportunity to provide premarital counseling to couples who are so in love, I have developed a rule of thumb that Valentine's Day is more than just a greeting card holiday. Valentine's Day is also a good time to have a couple check up.

We all go to doctors, dentists and eye doctors to make sure we are in good physical health, but what are you doing to make sure your relationship is in good health? Valentine's Day is a great day to check in with your spouse and check up on your relationship. Even if you feel like you have a healthy marriage relationship, it is important to check in with your spouse. Sometimes hidden issues can be lurking which can cause a major disruption. Click here for previous Ask Anne articles about dealing with issues in marriage.

Even if there are no hidden issues, reflecting on your relationship strength can be rejuvenating too. For a great couple check up, take this quick survey from Prepare-Enrich. This assessment will allow you to see your relationship's strengths and areas of growth for you and your spouse. I would even recommend the book Couple Checkup Book by David H. Olson, Amy K. Olson-Sigg, Peter J. Larson. This a great book to help you and your spouse stay on the right track. You can also take this short quiz to identify other relationship strengths: Couple Quiz.

Make this Valentine's Day a little different this year. Let the day be about strengthening your marriage and celebrating the strengths that are already there. You can still have your roses, chocolates and nice dinner, but make sure you go a little further and give your relationship a good check up.

And if you are considering getting engaged this Valentine's Day, check out our premarital counseling too. Getting started on the right track is vital to a healthy marriage!

Check back next week for some great date ideas that can be used for Valentine's Day or really any time you need a date idea.

*This column is not intended to substitute for an actual session with a licensed counselor.
If you have a question you would like to ask, EMAIL US: askanne@abchome.org or leave a comment. We would love to answer one of your questions.