Thursday, September 16, 2010

Growing your Marriage through Infertility - Part 2

(From last week) Q. I saw your article a few weeks ago about infertility. My spouse and I have been struggling with 'childlessness' for a while and it is taking a toll on our marriage. Can you offer some guidance on keeping our marriage strong through infertility?

A. It sounds like you can also use some helpful tips on what exactly you both can do to strengthen your marriage. Melanie Howard, Pathways Professional Counselor in Hoover, Tuscaloosa, and Columbiana, explains there are many ways couples can strength their marriage during this difficult time.

  • Pray, worship and study the Bible together.
  • Keep the lines of communication open between you and your spouse.
  • Set a time limit on how much you talk about infertility during a single conversation. You don’t want to exhaust each other’s ability to listen.
  • Plan special dates where you agree not to discuss infertility. Focus on each other.
  • Recognize that neither of you is able to provide 100 percent of the emotional support the other person needs. Consider joining an infertility support group or talking with a compassionate friend.
  • Before beginning treatment, discuss the moral and ethical issues that can arise. Prayerfully seek to make informed, scriptural decisions about which treatments you would or would not consider.
  • Before beginning treatment, seek to reach agreement about how to finance treatments, whether or not you will go into debt, and how much debt you will accrue.
  • Discuss taking a break from treatment. Use this time to renew your commitment to your marriage. · Take a vacation together to reconnect and enjoy your relationship.
  • Have intercourse during the “infertile” part of your cycle and enjoy relating with one another without the “agenda” of trying to conceive.
  • Agree together on when it’s time to stop treatment.
  • Seek professional counseling if infertility is causing significant problems in your relationship.

If you or someone you know is struggling with the emotions of this journey, our counselors are here to help. Contact us at 1-866-991-6864 or

To see the first part of this article, click here.

If you have a question you would like to ask, EMAIL US: or leave a comment. We would love to answer one of your questions.

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